they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
