can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize