Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
