Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
