The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
jump out the window naked night went bad
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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