ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize