oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
