I accidentally burped into my bong.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
