We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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