He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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