Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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