Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
