is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
