I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
