she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
