i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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