I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
