Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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