i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
