Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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