I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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