Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
