Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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