His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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