end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
