If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
