i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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