Please, let me fuck your mom
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
