Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
