I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize