please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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