I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
