Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
