Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
