it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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