remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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