Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
