At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
