i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think my vagina is haunted
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
did you just send me my own nude
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
