Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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