Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
