i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
