Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
