So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
