oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
