I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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