I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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