I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
