That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
