Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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