Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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