how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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