Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
