Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
