Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
