This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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