During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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