Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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