He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
