your parents love me but you hate me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ketchup is God's man juice
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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