morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
