there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
