this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
